Starting a conversation
- try to make eye contact first – if someone does not look back they may not wish to talk.
- use common conversation-starters – the weather, a recent sporting event or world event.
- start with a question, but not a personal one
- avoid questions with Yes or No answers
- if you know that you have some interest in common, ask a question about that topic.
Joining a conversation
- look to see if there is a space between the people in the group that makes it easy for you to enter the conversation
- try to catch the eye of someone in the group, especially if you know someone
- ask if it is OK to join the conversation (in case it is a private conversation), e.g. “is it OK if I join you?” Watch for a hesitation in the response, which may indicate it is not appropriate for you to join – you could then say something like, “OK, sorry” and move on.
- if you are invited to join, listen to the conversation for a while to try to understand what people are talking about
Continuing the conversation
- show that you are listening to what the other people are saying, by nodding, or saying ‘mmm hmm’, or reflecting back the feelings expressed (e.g. “I can see that made you sad/angry”)
- wait until there is a break in the conversation, then ask if you may contribute, e.g. “do you mind if I comment?” or “I have an idea that I would like to contribute.”
- try to make a comment or question that is related to what the previous speaker has been talking about
- while it is best to avoid changing the subject, if you wish to do so, find a way to relate the new topic to what has just been said, e.g. “what you just said reminded me of …”.
- try to notice when another person wants to say something and quickly end your train of thought
Ending the conversation
- learn some phrases for ending a conversation so that you do not just leave abruptly, e.g. “It’s been nice talking to you, but I have to get going to …”
- ending phrases should include something positive about the conversation and a reason for ending it
- wait for a response before leaving
Common verbal communication errors
- dominating the conversation, without listening for others’ points of view
- interrupting when someone hasn’t finished talking (try jotting down your thought so you won’t forget it)
- talking too loudly for the setting
- talking too fast, so that others can’t follow what you are saying
- talking too softly
- giving unsolicited advice
- criticizing what others say
- downplaying the impact of someone’s experience rather than supporting their feelings (even if you are just trying to make them feel better)
Nonverbal communication in conversations
- face the person you are talking to
- look at the person you are talking to and make eye contact
- have relaxed posture, not too stiff
- stand or sit a distance away from others that is appropriate in the culture. Most people are uncomfortable if others are too close (if unsure, watch groups of people talking to see what distance is typical). Notice if a person moves away and respect their space.
Understanding other people’s body language
- watch for facial expressions to try and judge how the person is feeling
- watch for signs of discomfort, e.g. looking at a watch, looking away frequently, squirming, fidgeting with an object
- if you notice signs of discomfort, review common communication errors to see if you are making the person uncomfortable
- watch for clues that the person wants to leave, e.g. gathering up belongings, edging towards the door.
Tips for interpreting subtext in conversations
- don’t assume that the words spoken should be taken literally
- look for body language or facial expression to see if it fits with what the person is saying, e.g. they say they are feeling great, but their posture and face indicate they are sad.
- listen for tone of voice – learn to recognize a sarcastic tone, so that you know when someone means the opposite of what their words say, e.g. “That’s great” can be a positive or negative comment, depending on the speaker’s tone of voice.
- Look at the words the person chooses in answering a question. See these possible responses to the question “Do you want to go to the movies tonight?” (adapted from Novotni’s book).
- I’d love to – probably means yes (unless followed by but..)
- I could – probably means they’d rather not but are willing to consider it
- If you want to – they don’t really want to but will go along with the idea
- Sure – depends on the tone of voice, how enthusiastic they sound
- Maybe – they probably don’t really want to but are being polite
- When someone invites you to join them, try to figure out if they are just being polite. If you are not sure, you could say something like ‘It’s OK” and see if they insist.
Telephone conversations
- When calling someone, ask, “do you have a minute to talk?” before starting your conversation. If they say ‘just a minute” you should keep the call short.
- Avoid dinnertime, early morning or late evening calls, except in emergencies.
- If you are called and it is a bad time for you, you can say “I’m afraid I can’t talk right now. Is there some time that I can call you back?” OR “can you call me back in … minutes?”
Workplace communication: learning about the unspoken rules and practices in your workplace
- Arrive early and notice what time other employees usually arrive.
- Observe the work areas of others to see how they organize their desks, e.g. do they put up or display pictures of friends or family?
- Notice how co-workers dress (if there is no uniform), and whether there are different dress codes on different days, e.g. casual Fridays, more formal dress when there are meetings in the office.
- Ask if co-workers usually eat lunch in a lunchroom, or go out for lunch. Notice if most co-workers buy lunch or bring a lunch from home.
- Observe whether co-workers chat from time to time while they work, or only talk at break times. There may be a formal rule about this.
- If you are doing the same job as others, see how much productivity is standard. It is usually best try to match the pace of work of others – doing too much can lead to resentment of co-workers. However, you do have to meet the productivity requirements of the job.
- Try to observe if there are unspoken expectations about socializing with people in other job levels — are you expected to stick together with workers who do your level of work, or is it a more open workplace socially? Can you take it literally when someone says “we’re all part of the team here?”
- Are there expectations about leaving work at the end of your day or shift? If you have work to finish up can you stay longer or take work home? You may have to check with your supervisor, but you can also observe others.
- Get a feel for which of your co-workers is happy to answer questions or show you how to do things, at least for a while when you are new. Try not to over-use these helpers. It may help to ask when would be a less busy time for them to give you some attention.
- Listen for jargon or slang terms that are commonly used by your co-workers. If you do not understand a term, take someone aside and ask them to explain it to you.
Adapted by LDAO from a number of sources
Author: LDAO
Source: LDAO
Learning disabilities in visual-spatial areas are less well-known and less understood than language-based learning disabilities such as dyslexia. Because they affect “everyday life” as much as academic settings, visual-spatial difficulties continue to have a significant impact in adulthood.
Persons with a pattern of visual-spatial LD’s typically display:
- auditory memory (for things that are heard) better than visual memory.
- basic reading skills better than mathematics skills
- verbal expression and reasoning better than written expression
- difficulties with sense of direction, estimation of size, shape, distance, time
- difficulties with spatial orientation, e.g. knowing how things will look when they are rotated
- visual figure-ground weakness, e.g. problems finding things on a messy desk
- problems interpreting graphs, charts, maps
- may become easily lost in an unfamiliar environment
- may have problems in learning to drive
- may have trouble estimating how long tasks take, managing time
- may have trouble seeing the “whole picture” or knowing what details are important
- may have trouble organizing, especially nonverbal information
Persons with this pattern of learning disabilities remember things best by using words. They prefer to learn and remember information by writing or dictating and tend to solve problems by talking out loud and reasoning with words. They describe nonverbal types of tasks (e.g. assembling an object, reading graphs) using words, and they need a language-based system to sort out how to organize information. Many have very strong verbal skills and can use these to compensate well for their visual-spatial weaknesses.
Some (but not all) persons with visual-spatial learning disabilities also have problems with reading nonverbal cues such as body language and facial expressions. They may not pick up subtle social cues required to monitor their interactions in social settings. However these skills can be taught and rehearsal of verbal “social scripts” can be very useful.
With the appropriate skills instruction, development of compensatory strategies, and accommodations in educational or workplace settings, adults with visual-spatial learning disabilities can find their niche and lead successful lives.
References:Job-Fit Facilitator’s Guide , 2004, Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario
“What are Nonverbal Learning Disabilities?” 1998, Patti Brace, LDA Kingston Newsletter
“See and Learn Not Always True” 1998, Edwin Ortiz, LDAO Communique
“I have a hard time understanding lectures and taking notes. My vocabulary is really weak.”
“I never seem to follow directions correctly and I simply can’t take a phone message.”
“Why is it so hard for me to get ideas out? Sometimes I can’t remember words and the ideas get all jumbled.”
The above quotes are typical of many adults with language based learning disabilities. Some adults have a long history of oral language difficulties that were identified during the early childhood years. With intervention they made good progress, but because the demands for new vocabulary and other oral communication skills increase, residual effects of their early problems persist into adulthood.
Other adults have minor oral language problems that have not been always detected. Often it is assumed that their only difficulties are in reading and writing. If this is the case, some are encouraged to use tape recorders or take oral examinations, which, in reality, may be more difficult. Because oral language problems may not be identified, all evaluations should include comprehensive assessment of both listening comprehension and oral expression.
Although many LD adults have relatively good language for general communication, they may have problems with highly specific tasks that require linguistic flexibility and more precise verbal organization. Some are concerned about their difficulty in social situations and are reluctant to participate in discussions, but others are unaware of their faulty pragmatics, poor listening skills and expressive problems.
It should be noted that not all adults with language based learning disabilities have difficulty with oral communication. In fact, oral language is often a strength, an avenue for learning, a means of conveying knowledge, and a skill for successful occupational pursuits. Even dyslexics with relatively low reading levels may develop high level vocabularies, complex sentence structure, and the ability to present well organized speech.
The following is an overview of symptoms, diagnostic procedures and interventions for those adults who do have oral language problems.
RECEPTIVE LANGUAGE PROBLEMS
Perception
Failure to perceive words accurately may result in misunderstanding and mispronunciation. Therefore, whenever a person mispronounces a word, we try to determine whether they perceived it accurately. For example, if a person says, “I just returned from Alaksa,” we want to know whether they can detect the difference between Alaska and Alaksa.
When perceptual problems are detected, we help the student become aware of the need for more careful listening and suggest visual supports such as watching the speakers mouth. Sometimes reading helps oral language. Even though the students may have difficulty reading, we show them the differences between the two patterns (Alaska; Alaksa), say them, and elicit the correct production. In school, they should select seats in classes, where, if necessary, they can watch the speakers’s face.
People with perceptual problems should be careful in choosing a vocation. Some have gone into secretarial service, unaware that their auditory misperceptions might interfere with taking phone messages accurately.
Comprehension
Some adults have difficulty understanding vocabulary, complex sentences, and/or the significant points in a story or lecture. Since we need to differentiate problems of reception from expression, tasks are chosen that require only recognition responses (e.g.,Show me “_______”. Do these sentences mean the same thing?., or “Listen to this passage and indicate which is the best summary statement.”). Questions regarding main ideas, significant details, and/or prediction are used.
Many adults have only vague, personal word meanings. For example, when asked to define “domestic,” they may say “I’ve heard of domestic violence but I don’t know what it means.” We try, through guided inquiry, to help them use their background knowledge and work from the known to the unknown (e.g., Do you know the difference between wild and domestic animals?”), but often it is necessary to give clear explanations with several examples.
Work on derivations of words is also beneficial. This includes prefixes, suffixes, and morphemes that appear frequently in their course work (e.g., graph, gram, photo). By analyzing words such as “electrocardiogram”, they become conscious of words with the same morphemes.
Strategies can be taught for listening, note taking, and abstraction of key points. Reciprocal listening comprehension strategies may be helpful. Students listen to one or two sentences, and then take turns asking and answering questions.
EXPRESSIVE LANGUAGE PROBLEMS
Some adults have no difficulty comprehending, but they cannot express their ideas. They may be unable to retrieve (access) words, to pronounce multisyllabic words, use complex sentences, and formulate their ideas coherently.
Word Retrieval
Word retrieval problems can be detected with rapid naming tasks. Those who have difficulty often struggle in academic, professional and personal situations. Strategies for word retrieval such as first sound, associations, and/or visualization can be taught. In social situations, the adults are encouraged to relax, and, if necessary, simply say they cannot think of the word. In school, they may need extended time to elicit answers or to complete examinations.
Pronunciation
Many dyslexics have difficulty pronouncing multisyllabic words. This problem is sometimes manifested in their oral reading and nearly always in spelling. Reading can be used to show how to dissect words, saying each syllable, and then putting them back together (e.g., en em y).
Definitions
The ability to give definitions is a high level metalinguistic skill that requires an understanding of words, as well as the correct form to use. During the intervention we try to help students identify the class of word (i.e., part of speech) and become aware of the appropriate definitional form (“it is a place where…; it is a tool that,..; it means to …”). Again intervention may be combined with reading so students can see the correct definitions for nouns, adjectives, verbs, and other parts of speech.
Syntax
Many adults have adequate syntax for general conversation but they do not use many complex sentences. During intervention we again combine work with oral and written language, first to highlight possible errors and then to show placement for modifiers, ways to combine short sentences into one, etc.
Formulation of Discourse
Some adults with learning disabilities have very labored, halting verbal expression. This may result from minor problems with word retrieval, syntax, or verbal organization. Others, however, need plans and guidelines for various types of discourse. For example, students may need to plan for summarizing a novel or science experiment. They also may need help with a sense of audience and ways to organize information for the uninformed listener. Practice giving oral reports to others, listening to themselves on tape recorders, and monitoring their own work is beneficial.
Pragmatics
Adults who have difficulties in social situations should be made aware of certain nonverbal and verbal behaviors that might interfere with communications. Some need to be taught to maintain eye contact, to maintain the appropriate distance from the speaker, to adjust vocal intensity, and to wait or take turns. Others need to learn how to extend a conversation, to listen, and make appropriate comments that will keep the ‘ball rolling.” Sometimes, reading one act plays helps with turn taking and social skills.
SUMMARY
In conclusion, not all adults with learning disabilities have oral communication problems, but for those who do, we recommend intervention that incorporates all forms of language. Reading can be used to aid oral language, but most of intervention should be done with listening and oral expressive tasks.
Adapted from an article by Doris Johnson that originally appeared in the 45th Annual Orton Dyslexia Society Conference Commemorative Booklet
Used with permission from the International Dyslexia Association, Buffalo Branch
Author: Dr. Sam Goldstein, Ph.D
Source: LDA NEWSBRIEFS
The daily demands and forces that affect adults, though different from those affecting children, are nonetheless significant. From the perspective of learning disabilities we all agree that children with learning disabilities grow up to be adults with learning disabilities. The consequences of their learning disability, however, change. The arena shifts from school to work and community. The implications become more significant. The child with learning disabilities may rely on family and school for support. The adult with learning disabilities, however, often struggles to find a support system. Therefore, adults with learning disabilities may be at increased risk to develop emotional problems and specific psychiatric disorders as a consequence of their learning disability in the adult years.
Professionals need to recognize the logical consequence of increased feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, lower self-esteem and lack of assertive skills that arise as the result of living day in and day out with a handicapping disability, particularly one that for many adults with learning disabilities, was either inadequately identified or not identified, and was even less likely to have been treated. I urge my fellow mental health clinicians, counselors and advocates to do the following:
- Recognize and accept that a child with a learning disability grows up to become an adult with a learning disability.
- Listen carefully to what our clients and patients say.
- Obtain careful childhood histories, as those individuals with learning disabilities and psychiatric problems in childhood likely continue to have both problems in adulthood.
- Do not assume that all individuals with histories of learning disabilities will experience emotional problems but recognize that all will be affected to some extent.
- Reasonably assume that most individuals with learning disabilities have had a much more difficult life course emotionally and are more likely to experience feelings of low self-esteem.
- Adults with learning disabilities can and do experience more life and vocational problems than others. For some, these problems are invasive and intrusive. For others, they are fairly subtle.
- Many individuals with learning disabilities use other strengths to compensate for their disabilities and develop a variety of coping strategies, allowing them to function well in every day life.
- Listen carefully when taking a history. An undiagnosed learning disability may, in some individuals, represent a significant variable to explain the course of reported emotional problems.
With increased community acceptance and recognition that learning disabilities represent a life time phenomenon, medical, mental health and educational professionals are going to find themselves supporting and treating more and more of these individuals. As adult learning disabilities become popular, these individuals are also excellent targets for the marketing of all kinds of fads, mythical treatments, and unproven remedies.
Knowledgeable professionals can offer their patients and clients a powerful sense of hope by being available and providing accurate information, understanding, and support. Although much of the science in adult learning disabilities remains in the future, common sense and clinical judgment can offer great help today.
Author: Jane Drover, M. Ed. is the Learning Disability Coordinator of the Meighen Centre at Mount Allison University, Sackville, New Brunswick.
Introduction
Postsecondary education can be a reasonable goal for students with learning disabilities. Not everyone in the general population chooses to go to college or university; the same will be true of those with learning disabilities. Adolescents with learning disabilities must explore as many postsecondary options as possible, and make choices that will suit individual strengths, interests and goals.
Preparation
Students must be involved in planning for their postsecondary education! This role must not be taken over by parents, teachers and guidance counsellors, although all these people will be very much involved in the process. Begin early! Planning should begin by the end of grade nine, when high school courses are being chosen. It is wisest to keep all doors open by choosing high school courses that will qualify the student for the widest range of postsecondary institutions and programs. Be realistic. Students should select courses and plan for a career in their areas of strength.
During the high school years, students must be not only advancing academically, but also developing personal independence. First-year college and university students should be capable of basic shopping and cooking, managing bank accounts and credit cards, managing time, and making logical decisions. They should have basic computer skills and sophisticated study skills. In addition, they should know how to set clear short-term goals and how to keep on track even when things get frantic, or when social pressures conflict with academic demands.
Students with learning disabilities need an additional skill – self-advocacy. They must understand and accept the learning disability they have. They must know their own strengths and weaknesses and be able to explain them and their specific academic needs to postsecondary service providers and instructors.
Students with learning disabilities must also be prepared to present their chosen postsecondary institution with up-to-date documentation of their disability. It should state the exact nature of the disability and give specific recommendations for the accommodations and strategies that will be of greatest benefit to the student. The grade eleven year is a good time to have a thorough psychoeducational assessment of the student’s abilities made by the school psychologist, and to have this assessment thoroughly explained to the parents and the student together.
Today, most provincial governments provide publicly funded colleges with operating funds to set up special services for students with disabilities. However, the governing boards itself of each college or university must decide how that money is used. Some colleges and universities have a special services department to assist all students with disabilities. Others have a more comprehensive service for students with LD, in which there is a designated staff person trained and experienced in LD. These supports are especially important for adults returning to school for retraining, and who may have missed special education services in elementary and secondary school.
Selection of institution/program
Shop for an education. Ask lots of questions. Take nothing for granted. If you wish to attend a college or university, contact the school of your choice and ask for an interview with the Special Needs office. The staff will determine appropriate strategies with you. Strategies differ depending on the individual college/university, the type of program requested and the nature of the learning disability. Does the institution offer the academic or professional program that this student wants? Is it within a reasonable travelling distance? What kind of support services does it offer to students with learning disabilities? Is there a specific person and place to go to for help? Can the support program deal adequately with this student’s particular disability? Do the size of the institution and the classes suit this student? Are pre-college courses available if needed? Can the student visit the campus now, sit in on sample classes and talk with the student support personnel? Is the faculty willing to grant the accommodations that this student needs?
Expectations on arrival
Students can expect the college or university situation to be very different from high school. The work will be more demanding – in quality and in depth. There will be less class time, more study time, less feedback from instructors, and less supervision. On the one hand there will be more academic and personal freedom; on the other there will be more academic and personal responsibility. Levels of support available on campus will vary widely from minimal to satisfactory. However, with appropriate accommodations and support, and a lot of hard work, students with learning disabilities can have success.
Accommodations
It is up to the students to ensure that they receive the accommodations which are appropriate and necessary for them. Extra time for tests and exams is the most common request, and perhaps one of the easiest to satisfy. There should also be access to word processors, academic counselling and personal and financial counselling. It is important for the student with a learning disability to take advantage of all that the student support centre has to offer. Many students come to postsecondary institutions planning to ‘do it all by myself’ – this attitude can cause much grief.
Finally It really depends on the individual students. Common problems that often scuttle a postsecondary education are poor academic preparation, a poor match between student abilities and program requirements, or inadequate knowledge of what is expected at the postsecondary level. All these can and should be addressed before choosing a postsecondary institution. Students with learning disabilities do belong on campus, and should not undervalue their strengths. They are more like the typical first year student than they are different. With careful selection, adequate and appropriate preparation and on-campus support, students with learning disabilities can succeed in every field.
Accommodations for Learning Disabilities in Postsecondary Schools:
- Extended time for tests, exams
- Reduced course load
- Course counselling
- Electronic or taped textbooks
- Text-to-voice software
- Voice-to-text software
- Reader (support person)
- Scribe for oral work (support person)
- Specialized organizational tour
- Tape recording of lectures